He Could Be
by Sakura-chan79
Summary: It hurts to be in love, but that doesn't stop her from loving him. She thinks she loves him, at least. -NamiRoku-
1. Once Upon A Time

Naminé tucked her legs in carefully back against her chair, arranging her books neatly on the tiny desk attached to her seat. Her binder was blue and with the words _University of Twilight Town _embossed in gold on the front. The school logo and motto were detailed in smaller font just below the name. No loose notes stuck out from within the book, perfectly arranged as they were. It wasn't because she was a perfectionist or something equally ridiculous, just that it was a habit instilled when she was little to keep her notes organized for easy reference.

She leaned down and shoved her hat and scarf under her chair, onto the silver grill-basket underneath so that they were effectively out of her way. Next she leaned down and fished around inside her bag for her pencil case, with her very recently combed blonde hair falling over her shoulders, hiding her face from view. Her hearing remained unimpaired, however, and she still caught a sudden movement out of the corner of her eye.

"'Morning, Naminé," Roxas said amiably, loudly.

She raised her head and smiled, not quite looking him in the eyes. "Hi, Roxas," she replied, equally cheerfully though in a much softer voice. Her fingers brushed over her pencil case and she pulled it out with a fluid movement and sat up straighter in her chair. She unzipped it and pulled out two pens: one red, one blue.

"Did you have a good weekend?" Roxas asked politely with a wide smile as he dropped his bag to the ground and took his usual seat in front of her. "Anything exciting happen?"

She nodded slowly. "It was good," she agreed. "Busy, of course. I had a lot of homework to do, so I didn't really do anything very exciting."

Roxas nodded absently, turning away almost simultaneously and striking up a friendly conversation with Demyx and Axel who sat in the row beside them. Naminé didn't really know the two of them very well—she knew only a few people in the class, and they barely counted as acquaintances. She didn't even know _Roxas _very well, truth be told. He'd been in one of her classes the term before but she hadn't sat anywhere near him and spoken to him less than half a dozen times during that whole term.

And then, suddenly, he took to sitting with her in _this_ class and doing their group work together. She wasn't sure if it was because he recognized her from their last class and had taken pity on her being so obviously alone. He himself couldn't possibly have been shy or nervous in this class; he evidently knew Demyx and Axel on reasonably well terms, judging by the way they spoke with such familiarity. Nor was he one to not speak to others, make new friends. He wasn't a loudmouth, per se, but he wasn't shy.

Not like Naminé.

_We're so different, _she thought morosely, absently twirling her blue pen between her slim fingers. _I can't understand why he would be so nice to me when...when..._

She let the thought hang, unsure herself of what she meant. Roxas was very kind person, bright as the sun itself. He talked to _everybody_, and everyone loved him. Naminé couldn't imagine why anyone wouldn't like Roxas—she'd only just started to get to know him and already she loved him too. He was always smiling, always joking and laughing, and was, in general, a happy person to spend your time with.

"No, Ax," she heard him laugh, "No way! Dude, you're _such_ an idiot. You comin' after class?"

Axel shook his head emphatically, his bright red hair shaking like a big, bushy mane. "Can't, Rox. I've got class with ol' man Xemnas. I hate Poly Sci, but damn, it's a joke with him." He paused. "But I can't afford to fail his midterm."

She heard Demyx snicker from up a little further and a dull _thunk _as Axel clapped the back of his head with the palm of his hand. Roxas—unsurprisingly—laughed. Naminé bit back another sigh and bowed her head down as she leafed through her binder for blank sheets of loose-leaf paper and her homework from the previous class. She traced her pen across the top right corner of the page to mark down the date and wrote the course code in the top left corner. It wasn't really necessary, but she needed something to do _other _than stare at the back of Roxas's head.

"So, Naminé," Roxas said, turning around in his seat, blue eyes bright. It occurred to her that his eyes would be very pretty to paint. She could imagine just what colours to mix to get just the right shade. "You know that the annual ball for the English Department is coming up, right?"

She nodded slowly. "Yes. It's not for a little more than a month yet, though, right?"

"Yeah, that's right," Roxas agreed. "Well, I'm part of the planning committee and shit, so I'm pretty much in charge of getting everything together and organized. So, I have a proposition for you." He stared at her seriously for a moment. Naminé wasn't quite sure what to say so she remained quiet. She seemed to do that a lot around Roxas. "You're a Studio Arts major right? Would you be interested in designing the poster to promote it?"

"M-me?" Naminé squeaked, nearly dropping her pen due to sheer surprise. She could feel her face going pink and tried to ignore the heat in her cheeks. _Her_? Help out _Roxas_? Naminé would never have expected such an opportunity to come up, and she knew she'd be a fool not to seize it. "I-I'd love to help out, if I could, but...surely there are better artists than me."

"I'm planning a lot of different things for promoting the event but we _need _a poster and the rest of us on the committee are crap at art. You're the first one I thought of for the project. So, you'll do it?"

His eyes were doing that thing again. Staring intently. Bright, bright blue. How could she even think of saying 'no'? She was sitting in an over-crowded classroom, conversations floating around them, and it all seemed a little surreal. She was vaguely aware of Axel and Demyx carrying on a loud conversation and she could hear Yuffie giggling from the other side of the room. But it was Roxas who mattered right now, Roxas who was talking to her, and even now, she wasn't really used to that. He was Roxas, and she had never expected to speak to him on a pretty regular basis. "I'd love to do it," Naminé assured him, smiling what she hoped was her best smile. "Thank you for the offer."

"No, no, thank _you,_ Naminé," Roxas grinned. "You're the best, really."

"When do you need it done by?"

He thought for a moment. "Let's see...it's scheduled for the Friday before Valentine's Day, so maybe within a week and a half, if you can? Two weeks from today at the absolute latest."

She nodded, her platinum hair catching the light from the window as it moved across her shoulders. He couldn't tell, but her heart was pounding so forcefully against her chest that she felt that she might burst. Her face had lit up and her hands itched with a sudden urge to grab her pencil and begin to trace out preliminary sketches. She opened her mouth to reply but closed it again without saying a word because Roxas had already turned around again and begun to joke around with Axel again, and wouldn't hear what she said anyway.

It hurt, just a bit. But Naminé didn't mind it.

* * *

**Warnings: **Possible **background **Riku/Sora, **possible implications **of Roxas/Axel and Roxas/Xion; in fact, there are **numerous possible implications **with Roxas. **Possible unrequited love **between Roxas/Naminé. **Possible _light_ background **Xion bashing. If any of these things bother you, then you may want to reconsider reading any further.

**A/N: **To clear up a few things: The story will be told in short, vingette-like chapters in order to attempt to preserve the (hopefully) deeper exploration of a girl's feelings towards a guy she likes. This story will be told in snapshot's of Naminé's life, some directly following from the previous, some not. I won't make a secret of the fact I can't stand Xion, so if Roxas seems overly-harsh with her, that will be why, but I won't bash her all the time, and certainly not that much, though please do not be surprised or overly offended when this comes up; it's all in good fun; I have nothing against her, really, I just don't like her. There will be **no _Birth By Sleep _****characters or spoilers **in this fic, so please, if you leave a review, don't bring them up with spoilers. Much as I would love to include Ven, Terra, and Aqua, I don't want to mutilate their characters before I know anything substantial about them.

This is an **AU** story, in case that wasn't yet apparent. Therefore, things are what I say they are, and so I hope you enjoy my take on things. I also feel that I should note here that this story is primarily being used for catharsis purposes of my own and it _is _based off of my own life. No, not all of the events that happen to Naminé are exactly what happened to me, but most of them are inspired by my own experiences: due to this, **some of the characters may seem slightly OOC**. Please bear with me if that seems to be the case since writing this story is primarily for my own benefit, a place where I can express some of my own tumultuous feelings in words (other than the lengthy posts I make about them in my LJ). I hope you do enjoy this, though, regardless.

More than likely, knowing my habits, this will not be updated on a regular basis. I have a fair amount written right now, but I only write and update when the mood strikes me. I'll try to keep it active, but I won't make any promises. Sporadic, random updates are more likely than not. But I don't intend to stop this until I've figured out my own feelings a little more. I hope you'll enjoy the ride with me.

**I love reviews. **If you feel so inclined, I'd love it if you dropped a line or two for me. They really make my day. Any suggestions or concerns you have, I'll address for sure :) And really well...I just love hearing what you have to say, so don't be shy!

Until next time, then!


	2. What You Do To Me

That night, once her homework was finished, Naminé pulled her sketch pad forward on her desk and dangled her pencil above the clean, white page and _thought._ It couldn't just be a generic design. It had to be something special, something with meaning. The dance coincided with the Valentine's Day weekend, and even though the dance itself was not themed as such, the idea of Valentine's being only two days later would allow her some leeway in terms of art. But Naminé didn't want to design something that would be promoting Valentine's Day rather than the dance.

Absently tracing her pencil across the page, she thought back to the things Roxas said to her that morning, and she envisioned his facial expressions again, reconstructing in her mind their entire conversation. She smiled to herself when she remembered the twinkle in his eye when he told her that _she_ had been the first one he thought of when he needed to find someone to design a promotional poster. It made her feel giddy inside all over again, made her cheeks flush pink even with no one else around.

Thinking about Roxas did that to her.

_I don't even need to see him, _Naminé thought morosely, a heavy sigh filling her ears. _Just thinking about him is enough to make me feel giddy inside. I'm a little bit pathetic, aren't I?_

She glanced down at the page again and studied the sketch she'd drawn without really realizing that she'd made anything even remotely sensible. The beginnings of a background—a wall with some windows and heavy drapes pulled aside—and the beginnings of a person to one side. It was a boy, Naminé decided. The posture was too..._boyish _for a girl, she thought, and besides, no girl would have her hair styled in messy spikes for a formal dance. It wasn't much, but for a start—a base to work from—Naminé liked it.

A gentle knock at her door and she looked up, pushing her hair back over her shoulder and turning over her sketch pad. Naminé's mother stood in the doorway, her mouth downturned in disapproval. "You should be getting ready for bed now, Nami," she chided, eyes darting towards the sketch pad and then back to her daughter's face. "Don't you have a test tomorrow?"

Naminé glanced down at her sketch pad and then back up at her mother. "No," she replied, her voice soft and quiet as usual. "I have an in-class sketch due on Friday. It's nothing big Mom."

The woman crossed her arms and shot her another disapproving glare. "Naminé, honey, you should be sleeping now. You've got long days, and you work tomorrow. You can draw later."

"I know," she said. "I'll go to bed soon. I promise."

Her mother looked like she wanted to argue the point further, and force Naminé to pull down her covers and crawl under, and drift off to sleep. But she remained silent and closed Naminé's door, knowing that Naminé wasn't a liar and would do as she promised and go to sleep soon. It was enough. The young woman breathed a sigh of relief and turned her sketch pad back over, ready to continue her drawing. The person needed more definition, she thought. Maybe he would be wearing a nicely tailored suit, complete with a corsage. Maybe he would just be wearing a dress shirt and tie with freshly pressed black slacks.

Naminé dragged her pencil across the page, toying further with the former option, styling his hair into very particular spikes that curled slightly at the tips, giving him the effect of having just been caught in a terrible windstorm and his hair becoming stuck in a whirl-wind fashion, yet still managing to look perfectly acceptable while dressed in such formal clothes. She imagined he might have been late to the party but was eagerly expected and would be harassed with all sorts of questions about where he was and what had happened to him. She thought he might be the most wanted guest, the life of the party, so to speak. She penciled in a wide grin and glittering eyes.

He wasn't anyone she knew.

* * *

**A/N: **As always, I do love to hear your thoughts and comments! I'm exploring familial relationships and friendships as much as romantic relationships in this fic, so please let me know what you think of how I approach things. Enjoy!


	3. Everywhere I Go

The following evening, Naminé had to work.

She was just an ordinary university student with the usual sky-high tuition fees and the very common student loan with which to pay them. And, like most other girls her age, she had a job where she worked hard to make enough money to _maybe _not have to use her loan for this term, and save some for a bit of spending and the rest for next term's fees. She was good at saving and good at working; she got three shifts a week at the store, more than most part-time employees, and she was one of the newest.

The bell above the door chimed _ding ding_ as a customer walked in; for a moment, when she looked up, Naminé thought it was Roxas. Her heart skipped a beat, and butterflies rose in stomach only to drop away in disappointment when she realized it wasn't him. His hair was darker, not so blond, and his smile was different. The way he moved wasn't quite the same. She sighed, turning her eyes away and stared out the window, idly leaning against the cash desk and wondering what Roxas was doing right now.

She didn't know if he had a job or where it might be, what he might do, or if he had a girlfriend or siblings or...well, really, she didn't know much of anything about him. He was Roxas, and everybody knew Roxas, and everybody liked Roxas. But she, at least, didn't really _know _anything about him. Nothing about his hobbies or his dislikes, nothing about his family and very little about his friends; she didn't know where he came from, if he liked to travel, what he liked to eat. Nothing.

She knew his name, and not much more.

"Is something wrong, Naminé?"

She shook her head, not bothering to turn and look at Marluxia. "No," she said. "Nothing. I'm just thinking about all the work I have to do for school."

"You're coming up to midterms soon, aren't you?" he asked, walking around the counter and into her field of vision. His bright, bubblegum pink hair startled her for a moment even though she was used to it. He shifted the box on his hip so it was leaning more comfortably against him. "February is always a busy time during school."

She nodded. He stayed for a moment longer and then shrugged. He left her alone again, leaving to go and finish stocking the hair colouring products down Aisle 2. She wondered if Roxas dyed his hair. She thought not, but it was becoming harder and harder to tell sometimes. Some products were very good, and some people were very talented when they dyed their hair. She wondered what his hair felt like. Was it soft and silky, or smooth from copious amounts of gel?

Footsteps. Naminé turned around and smiled. "Hi there," she said quietly, her fingers dancing over the keyboard to sign into the computer. "I hope you found everything you were looking for tonight?"

The customer nodded his head enthusiastically and glanced up at her from his phone. For a moment, Naminé was struck by how similar his eyes were to Roxas's, in both shape and shade. "Yes, thanks," he said brightly, his voice lighter and sweeter than Roxas's. _God, I'm seeing Roxas everywhere I go! _

He didn't have many things: only a bottle of shampoo, conditioner, a six-pack of Pepsi bottles, and a couple of chocolate bars. "Do you need a bag?" she asked, automatically avoiding his eyes when she looked up again. He nodded again, but didn't glance up from his phone.

"Please," he said.

Naminé tore a white plastic bag off the rack beside her and gently pushed his purchases inside. The Pepsi was too heavy and would tear the bag, so she set them down beside it on the counter. "That's eleven-sixty-five," she said. "Debit? Swipe outwards, please."

It only took a moment for him to be approved and for her to hand him his bill and bag. "Have a nice night," she said politely as he turned and left the store, phone still in his hand, fingers dancing over it.

"You, too," he called over his shoulder with a silly grin.

* * *

**A/N: **Comments make me a happy writer. Thank you to those of you who have commented so far! I love hearing from you, and I love to respond, so please don't be shy. Thank you to those of you who have fav'd and/or alerted as well. It makes me happy to see there are some people who like this :)

On another note, I'm sure we've all known one or two people who don't really tell you about themselves; you want to get to know _them _but it's just so hard when they don't let anything slip. It's frustrating, isn't it?


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